Chidimma Writes

  How Social Media Noise Is Changing Our Values The world today is polluted with noise; noise shaped by people’s perceptions and beliefs. It overwhelms me sometimes as I try to understand what truly matters in life. Everywhere, there are opinions: “Marriage is not an achievement,” “A man will…” “Women are…”, and so many others. These voices have created confusion, turning everyday life into quiet chaos. Growing up, I can attest that the noise was minimal. People had privacy, and no one seemed to be in a rush. Maybe it was because I hadn’t seen the other side of the world yet. But now, it is exhausting to witness how much things have changed, from simple to complicated, from calm to chaotic. Sometimes, I wonder what life would have been like if social media had never introduced these endless comparisons and artificial standards. Today, many people live based on what they see and hear online. They go to great lengths to align their lives with curated realities. “I want glass skin,” I...

  HOW MUCH I IGNORED MY MOTHER I had written something for Mother’s Day. I had prepared a piece. But then, something struck me: REFLECTION . I sat quietly that morning. The sun had not yet embraced the sky, and dusk still lingered softly. And I asked myself: Why do I celebrate Mother’s Day? Why am I writing about it? Do I truly have a reason, or am I just following a trend? Then, the memories came...flooding my mind like a waterfall in Enugu. I remembered the days I resented my mother. The times she scolded me harshly for things I knew I was guilty of. The day I told her I was bullied because of my body, and instead of comforting me, she asked if I truly was what they called me, rather than teaching me to fight back. Oh, my younger self! how little you understood. I see it clearly now. She corrected me so I would fear wrongdoing. She allowed certain struggles because she believed they would make me stronger. I may not know much about other mothers, but mine taught me lessons that s...

 The Prayer That Ended a Love I Thought Was Right Every year after my first breakup with Paul, a lot of things happened that reminded me of the same dating mistakes I made with him. I never believed that dating in school was trashy because I believed love could find you even at your lowest. Destiny had convinced me of that. After Paul, I did not take a long break like many girls or women usually do after a breakup. Only three months later, I accepted to start something with a new guy I had just met. Unfortunately, trying again was not worth it. He was worse than what I had run away from. The relationship lasted for three months and one week. After it ended, I decided to take a break that lasted three years. It is funny how time flies. When I later calculated those years, I was amazed. With the anger I carried, I chased my dreams with great determination. I told myself there would be no more lovey dovey distractions. Sometimes I feel we need an emotion to electrify us into reaching ...

  DOES BODY COUNT REALLY NOT MATTER ? "You owe no one the number of your body count.” When I was in my mid-teenage years, the phrase “body count” confused me. I wondered what it meant until I came across it in a novel at a friend’s library. I cannot remember the title now, but I remember that it was written by a Western author and it was worth every second of my time. After learning the meaning of body count, I began to question whether it was simply an illusion, a juicy bait used by society, or just a fictional idea within the world of that novel. The thought stayed in my mind like a stubborn bug, making me overthink during my leisure time as though I had been hired to conduct research on the subject. “Having too many body counts does not matter,” a friend once told me during a girl-to-girl conversation. Her reasoning surprised me. I remembered my mother once explaining that sleeping with too many men could make a woman lose the value she carries. According to her, a woman’s dign...

 “ How Time Steals Dreams We Never Act On ” Time is a vengeful agent. It keeps ticking and never pauses to meet the expectations of man. It existed before creation and has never stopped ticking till today. Over the years, many people lose track of time and suddenly realize that they left their beautiful dreams unrealized. They failed to do the right things while there was still time. According to the Preacher in the book of Ecclesiastes, everything has its timeframe. Whether small or great, under the sun or above it, time respects no one. I once had a deep conversation with a young man who told me how he spent his prime years in reckless habits. I was fascinated by his story, yet as I reflected on it, doubts filled my mind. In a person's lifetime, the twenties are often the prime years for planning what life should become in the next two decades. The thirties, in many ways, reflect what was built in the twenties. Although many writers encourage people to “wait for their time,” the ...

  THE LIES I BELIEVED ABOUT MYSELF So many things have kept me drifting on waves and shadows. Reading stories, articles, features, novels, poetry, and comics shaped my lifestyle and made me believe deeply in the tyranny of my fantasies. Sometimes I wonder if they truly exist, or if they were just a juicy bait writers used to soothe our imaginations while we read. Maybe you have believed this too, in different ways. Growing up, I believed everyone would love me because I was smart and intelligent, perhaps a rare pearl. Reality struck in middle school when the bullying began. I started believing that the only way to keep people was to become weak and allow myself to be used. That was the lie I told myself. I thought friendship meant sharing everything you had: your knowledge, your time, your strength. Little did I understand that sometimes this was only a euphemistic form of exploitation, not unconditional love. I always believed real friends would tell you when you crossed a boundar...

  Why People Say “I Don’t Know What They Want” — When Deep Down They Do Understanding fear, independence, and the psychology behind human decisions. The lie many of us tell ourselves is that we do not know what we want, when the truth is right before us, as clear as glass. It is not that we do not know; we simply do not know how to admit it. The fear of hurting people, or losing the comfort we currently enjoy, often prevents us from admitting the truth. Everyone knows what they want and need at different points in life. The real problem with humans is the fear of losing what we already have because of our desires for something different in the future. Our cognitive behavior is shaped by the environments we grew up in, the circles we keep, and even the programs we watch repeatedly. However, parental influence happens to be one of the primary sources of this fear. Many people grow up to become partially independent and dependent, some become solely independent, and others become sole...

HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY 💐💐 She was created from the rib cage of a man. Beautifully crafted to carry a world within her, to feed the world, and to watch it bloom like flowers. Everyone often asks the question, “Why is it always women being celebrated?” Women are the beautiful part of creation. We carry another human within us, and when he comes into the world, we still nourish him, guide him, train him, and watch him grow and bloom. Women across the world are celebrated for the uniqueness we possess. We are the heart of the nation, the nurturers of the earth when man alone could not fill it. Whether big or small, beautiful or simple, black or white, slender or full; every woman deserves to be celebrated. Because we are the wives, mothers, sisters, mentors, doctors, teachers, and the beautiful stitches that hold the world together. Happy Women’s Day to all the amazing women in the world. — Chidimma Writes

  LOVING BROKEN PEOPLE By Chidimma Placid Nwaka  I always knew I had a problem with men. It is a trauma from my past that still lingers in my present. I wish for the good things in a relationship, but when they come, I feel overwhelmed and frightened. Sometimes it feels as though the wish has arrived at the wrong time, or perhaps it is not what it seemed to be after all. Like a fleeting glimpse, it passes, and I find myself wishing I had let it take me to wherever life intended. However, I do not blame myself for holding on to this trauma. I only caution myself for not allowing beautiful things to stay when they appear. I have so many wishes and wild dreams. Yet sometimes when good things come, a condition arises that I do not wish to contend with. Growing old with a man has always been one of my greatest fears, because I have seen too many women endure a man’s broken days, only to be forgotten when his merriment moments arrive. Strangely, the selfish woman often receives the ...

  HE CHOOSES YOU By Chidimma Placid Nwaka  "Before you were born, I knew you." — Book of Jeremiah 1:5 Every man carries a quiet voice within that sometimes whispers that he was left out in creation when it comes to favor and opportunity. Some believe that nature is partial in the way it treats the sons and daughters of the earth, while others feel that life simply has its favorites. But these thoughts are often fallacies. God, the Creator of the universe, has no favorites. Even those who were considered close to Him in the scriptures were corrected when they went astray. His love and justice remain constant. Being chosen by God is more than the phrase “highly favored.” When God chooses you, it does not necessarily mean life becomes effortless or that struggles disappear. Rather, it means His purpose and grace begin to shape your journey, even in the midst of challenges. When people say God is partial, I often smile, because the greatest evidence of His love is that He gave Hi...

  HEARTS DO LIE By Chidimma Placid Nwaka  Have you ever stood on the edge of crowning someone as one of the “good guys,” without knowing them deeply enough...like a shallow swimmer stepping into deep waters? Have you ever thought someone was “the one for you,” without allowing consistency and time to play their quiet foreplay? Almost everyone has been in this place at some point in life. You think you are getting closer to what you hoped for, but it turns out to be only a glimpse of the dream you carried. Sometimes, we simply have to be careful what we wish for. Instead of making desperate wishes, it is wiser to seek God’s will in everything. Many of us are CONCLUSIONISTS . We rush into conclusions and judge people based on how they treated us in the beginning, rather than waiting to see who they truly become over time. And when they fail to live up to the fantasy we carefully built in our minds, the pain cuts deeper than the sweet fragments of kindness they once showed us. So...

  THE MIDDLE SYNDROME By Chidimma Placid Nwaka Growing up, I always wondered if I was affected by the so-called “middle child syndrome”, or if there was simply a reason I was treated differently. I was always in the middle, trying to balance every scale, making sure everyone was happy, even if it meant swallowing my own sadness. I was the most scolded, and I constantly questioned myself. Was I just stubborn? Was I too talkative, as they said? Was I too reserved when problems arose instead of confronting them? Was I too slow when I was expected to act fast? So many “was” questions created noise in my head, while the “whys” were never allowed to escape my lips. People often say the first child bears the weight of responsibility and becomes the pillar of support for the younger ones. Yet, little attention is paid to the child in the middle. Middle children sometimes just want to be seen, to be heard, to have someone notice when they are silently fading into vagueness or depression. I ...

  MEN ARE SCUM? By Chidimma Placid Nwaka  Every day, some women express different ideologies about men, describing them as scumbags, cheats, and many other negative names. I once had a deep conversation with a young lady in her mid twenties about her past relationships. Her response was almost amusing as she described men as scum and stingy. That conversation made me realize that sometimes men are not scumbags, cheats, or even stingy as some women claim. Only some men fit those negative descriptions, while others are simply gentle and sincere. I am not left out of these stereotypes because of the different sons of Adam I have encountered over time. Yet I have chosen to think beyond that box. I believe there will always be a good man for every woman, and love itself does not need time, situation, place, or even your consent before it finds you. However, there are two types of men, the boys and the men. Boys are players, while men are the game. Even at thirty or forty, some male...