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THE MIDDLE

 

THE MIDDLE SYNDROME

By Chidimma Placid Nwaka

Growing up, I always wondered if I was affected by the so-called “middle child syndrome”, or if there was simply a reason I was treated differently.

I was always in the middle, trying to balance every scale, making sure everyone was happy, even if it meant swallowing my own sadness. I was the most scolded, and I constantly questioned myself.

Was I just stubborn?

Was I too talkative, as they said?

Was I too reserved when problems arose instead of confronting them?

Was I too slow when I was expected to act fast?

So many “was” questions created noise in my head, while the “whys” were never allowed to escape my lips.

People often say the first child bears the weight of responsibility and becomes the pillar of support for the younger ones. Yet, little attention is paid to the child in the middle. Middle children sometimes just want to be seen, to be heard, to have someone notice when they are silently fading into vagueness or depression.

I was expected to be strong, even when I was sick. Emotional struggles were not acknowledged. Feelings were tucked away so I wouldn’t appear weak. Only silent nights and tear-soaked pillows knew the truth.

Being a middle child is not easy. We stand in between everything: conflict and celebration, chaos and peace. We notice the slightest shift in the atmosphere. We read rooms no one else realizes are speaking.

They say middle children are chatty. I agree. But we are not the worst versions of ourselves. And when we go silent, it is not emptiness; it is our minds replaying every conversation, every tone, every unspoken tension. Anxiety quietly pulls at us.

Panics we never created.

Stress we never controlled.

I remember wishing to be like my eldest sister, hoping that maybe then things would feel different. But the outcome did not play out the way I imagined.

Sometimes, we simply need to love who we were created to be, while learning how to adjust to the climate of our environment.

To every middle child out there:

You are seen.

You are loved.

You are not a mistake of the universe.

You are a bridge; and bridges are strong.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Nice
March 3, 2026 at 9:27 AM
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