Chidimma Writes

THE SILENT STRUGGLE OF AVOIDANT HEARTS Love, they say, is a beautiful thing. And according to Joel Osteen, having someone you love in your life makes you rich. I often wondered how love could make anyone rich. My mind never stopped questioning. In quiet moments, even during my noon naps, those words echoed endlessly. Then I looked at the world. Everything seemed painted in shades of hatred. And truly, the world feels poor. The people we love and stand for rarely live up to our expectations. Yet, we pretend. We smile through it, living under the quiet weight of mediocrity, poverty, and emotional relegation. Now, let’s talk about avoidant people. They crave love deeply. Saying “yes” comes easily to them, like a soft rhythm flowing from their lips. Yet, they detach just as easily. It’s not that they cannot love. It’s that their love fades, like yesterday dissolving into dusky hours. They make people fall for them. They appear patient, understanding, almost perfect. Their words are sweet, ...

  THE EMPATHETIC PERSON People are born differently and some are made differently. When circumstances hit you and you overcome them, your authenticity becomes your sustenance. Let us talk about empathetic people who feel the hurt of others, carry the weight of people’s problems like theirs, with their minds processing everything as though they were made for it. They notice the slightest change in conversations and have the habit of feeling deeply, sometimes to the point of tears. You could place them in moments of grief and they would not need to pretend, they would feel it fully. If you are that empathetic person, you are one of the strongest people the universe has created. Your ability to process your emotions, listen to others, and feel their pain as though it were yours is authentic. I am that empathetic person. I thought I was abnormal, and when my eyes betrayed me instead of staying dry during conflict, people called it emotional blackmail. I always thought something was wro...

  WHY DO I LIVE? When Osundare called time vengeful, I argued within my mind that he was being harsh. But life unfolds in many unpredictable ways. Dreams sometimes remain unfulfilled. Many “had I knowns” and “how I wish” fill the spaces in people’s lives, and gratitude comes only in brief glimpses of what feels like an expected end. Somehow, I ask myself if this expected end truly exists, because we bend our backs every day working hard for a cause we often create from other people’s stories, judgments, and perceptions, while those same people are still struggling with their own problems. When I was younger, I was told that if I studied hard, I would have something to enjoy in the future. No more sleepless nights and burning lamps. But as I grow older, life becomes even tougher in that same future. The poor struggle to eat, and the rich, who seem to have everything the poor man desires, still work tirelessly, leaving no space vacant. Is this what we call the expected end? An end th...

  Sometimes I think we override life with our wishes. I believe everyone must have passed through phases in life when some of our wishes become realities at the time we no longer think about them or even need them. Growing up, we wished for a life not filled with uncertainties, drafting maps of the future as if we controlled everything. I remember friends who wished to get married in their early twenties, to recreate Rita Dominic’s marriage ceremony which was the highlight that year, to be like actress Sharon Ooja in her movie Still Falling, and many others. But it is funny how time changes how people feel about everything they once fancied. I was not an island. I made the same wishes and birthed wild imaginations about love, pain, wealth, shame, poverty, and even what people would feel like if I fell asleep and never woke up again. Life is indeed full of stress. Nothing is ever free. You work to get what you need and want, and somehow you may still end up with nothing at all. Some...

  THE STORY THAT TICKLES MY MIND Many of us know, or have perhaps heard this story from church epistles, friends’ chats, parents, school, and online sources. Many of us probably grieved deeply after listening to the painful part where she was stabbed out of this world for refusing to compromise her purity. Many people wonder why I am so obsessed with morality, based on the comments I receive every day, both openly and in hushed tones—some threatening, others luring. The essence of morality is not perfection, but sanity and self-control. Let’s talk about St. Maria Goretti, one of the martyrs in Rome. Stories say she was a young girl of twelve who lived with her family. Alessandro made advances toward Maria, but she rejected him. He became furious and plotted evil in his heart. While the young girl was in the garden, Alessandro approached her again with tempting promises, but she turned him down. His fury intensified as he grabbed her, pulled out a knife, and stabbed her several time...