Skip to main content

 LOVING BROKEN PEOPLE

By Chidimma Placid Nwaka 

I always knew I had a problem with men. It is a trauma from my past that still lingers in my present. I wish for the good things in a relationship, but when they come, I feel overwhelmed and frightened. Sometimes it feels as though the wish has arrived at the wrong time, or perhaps it is not what it seemed to be after all. Like a fleeting glimpse, it passes, and I find myself wishing I had let it take me to wherever life intended.

However, I do not blame myself for holding on to this trauma. I only caution myself for not allowing beautiful things to stay when they appear.

I have so many wishes and wild dreams. Yet sometimes when good things come, a condition arises that I do not wish to contend with. Growing old with a man has always been one of my greatest fears, because I have seen too many women endure a man’s broken days, only to be forgotten when his merriment moments arrive. Strangely, the selfish woman often receives the man the selfless woman helped to build.

Life seems to bring broken people to me. People who once enjoyed the brightness of their past, but when everything comes crashing down, my heart somehow finds itself trying to rehabilitate their stories. For a long time, I thought this was love. But now I understand that it is empathy. It is something I cannot fully control. I was simply created with an empathetic heart.

Yet this trait has led me into many chaotic situations, and sometimes I feel as though I need a quiet world where I can sit at the edge of a cliff and connect with my Maker.

There are so many questions I want to ask Him, one of which is about my purpose. Was I created as a rehabilitation center to accommodate people’s stories and fix them? Or was I simply meant to stand by, watching others find happiness while I tighten their loose bolts and receive nothing more than a quiet “thank you”?

I know not everyone was born to be part of a couple, but I still long for the kind of union I once wished for my parents. I want to be loved and cared for like a baby, cherished like the rising sun, and held close on cold nights.

I want to be the woman softly cooing her baby to sleep at night, while my honor sits beside me, praising my beauty.

I want to be admired not only for my strength, but for the life I have built with my own hands.

I want to be the kind of glamour people pause to look at, the woman whose voice they long to hear, whose words they carry with them long after she has spoken.

And one day, I want to stand before the world and tell them, with quiet certainty, how beautifully the universe has designed my life.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

LOVE TALES WITH CHIDIMMA WRITES ✍️

IF WE EVER GET MARRIED… A decade and six years ago, I had this imaginary person I loved so deeply. Someone I had found, yet never seen a solace after long, sometimes dramatic days. Someone to chitchat with in the quiet corners of my mind. I described him like characters in movies; Hollywood mostly. If he was the handsome hero, then he became my imaginary portrait. As time passed, I would wrap myself up in a double sofa, close my eyes, and imagine he was right there beside me. Sometimes I wondered if I was abnormal… or maybe every girl had this feeling and just never spoke about it. I did not know, or perhaps, I did not know how to know. Funny, “know how to know.” I was so attached to him that when my teenage hormones began to bloom, reality tapped me on the shoulder. I realized I needed to be realistic. He wasn’t real. So I took it upon myself to look for him. How toxic. In my dreams, he was more Asian. In my mind, he was the loveliest doctor– a surgeon. In reality, I wavered for a coo...
4 comments
Read more

OUR CULTURE, OUR LIFESTYLE

  OUR CULTURE, OUR WAY OF LIFE By Chidimma Placid Nwaka  INTRODUCTION Culture is defined by the attributes that make it honored and respected from one generation to another. It is the way of life of a people in a geographical setting. Culture is a beautiful reflection that tells about a tribe, region, city, village, town, territory, or nation. It provides details of what is held important and how people live their lives, whether simple or sophisticated, bothered or unbothered. In this article, the different cultures of different people will be explored, and their uniqueness identified. CULTURE AND ITS IMPORTANCE Culture is an attractive blend of different arts that adds color to a specific group of people. It is not only based on a tribe or country; workplaces, schools, and institutions have their own cultures that present value and appreciation. In a quick one, culture is everywhere, irrespective of class or size. Even families have their own culture that everyone holds with ...
Post a Comment
Read more

MOVIE CRITIC: THE HERD

MOVIE CRITIC: THE HERD Just Like Every Other One, It Reminds Us of the Poison People believe history shapes our lifestyle, and while the stories get interesting, the movies created from them make the connections more visible. The Herd is a historical movie; not too old, just about six years from the real events that inspired its visuals. It is a film that does not intend to hurt any religion or portray any tribe in Nigeria negatively. Effiong Daniel, an inspiring actor, delivered a project that could easily be misunderstood as controversial, especially because it was released during a chaotic and sensitive period in the country. Many critics from Northern Nigeria claimed the movie undermines the region, but the truth is that it delivers factual information in visual form. Bandit attacks, killings, the selling of human body parts, and other dark realities were portrayed, not to demonize anyone, but to reflect what victims actually go through. Just like To Kill a Monkey, The Herd uses st...
Post a Comment
Read more