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SELF AWARENESS

 Why People Say “I Don’t Know What They Want” — When Deep Down They Do



Understanding fear, independence, and the psychology behind human decisions.

The lie many of us tell ourselves is that we do not know what we want, when the truth is right before us, as clear as glass. It is not that we do not know; we simply do not know how to admit it. The fear of hurting people, or losing the comfort we currently enjoy, often prevents us from admitting the truth.

Everyone knows what they want and need at different points in life. The real problem with humans is the fear of losing what we already have because of our desires for something different in the future. Our cognitive behavior is shaped by the environments we grew up in, the circles we keep, and even the programs we watch repeatedly.

However, parental influence happens to be one of the primary sources of this fear. Many people grow up to become partially independent and dependent, some become solely independent, and others become solely dependent.

PARTIALLY INDEPENDENT AND DEPENDENT:

When someone is partially independent and dependent, it means they can take care of themselves, work hard, yet still rely heavily on other people's opinions before making decisions in life. These individuals are accustomed to living based on other people's perceptions and feelings, even when they feel uncomfortable about it. Their decisions often depend on what others say, and their own judgment is rarely trusted.

SOLELY INDEPENDENT:

Solely independent people are individuals who possess the ability to take care of themselves, work hard, and make their own decisions confidently. They are not easily pressured, and competition becomes insignificant in their scale of priorities. Such people are often industrious, self-driven, and successful, with high personal standards.

SOLELY DEPENDENT:

A solely dependent person relies on someone else for almost everything. Their decisions, work, and social lives depend heavily on others. Over time, they may lose their sense of dignity and sometimes become irritated when confronted with the truth about their dependency.

These three categories represent examples of the types of people we have in the world today. Personally, I am not exempt from being partially independent, but I am gradually learning to grow beyond that. To become solely independent, one must learn when and how to say NO to people, live with confidence, and move forward without guilt.

However, every human truly knows what they want because the mind never lies to us. It reveals what we feel and quietly highlights the consequences and benefits of each choice.

“Behind every ‘I don’t know what I want,’ there is much more that the heart already understands.”

— Chidimma Writes

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