Skip to main content

WHAT THE STORM LEFT BEHIND


Storms, they say, only last for a night and fade away, but no one talks about the spoils they leave behind that sometimes stigmatize us forever. Trauma is insanely dangerous, and somehow I find it difficult to heal from it.

I know my life is a book with so much hurt, so much that I cannot carry it any longer. Maybe I should run away to the desert, perhaps the beach or a waterfall, and connect again with nature, feel its stillness, and breathe in its freshness.

We say, "I forgive you," easily, but our hearts have not consented yet. They say forgive even when an apology is not given, but I feel much worse than that.

You do not want it, but somehow you wish the pain could disappear from your eyes. Maybe whoever caused it should be out for a while. I remember how easy it was to forgive even without any apology. I remember how she walked innocently. People walked over her until silence became her outfit. If she told her pain, know she was deeply hurt, and if not, know she had let go.

But the real pain is when the person closest to you does not see your hurt because they are not you. When they keep judging you more than the person who caused you pain. When they fail to see that your smiles only last for three seconds because they were not real. And when happiness and appreciation never spark on your face because your heart has become the only true sense that feels everything.

When storms come, we look out to the people around us. Sometimes you feel like being alone for a year, but finances keep you stuck, forcing you to take care of it all alone.

Forgiveness may sound easy, but it is the hardest thing. The same people who destroy your image behind your back begin to act like they care, and staring at them makes trust thinner than a broom tip.

I am still soaked in a well of wonders as I try to navigate why I find it difficult to heal and make peace with myself to prove I have let go, but guilt traps me because I had lied to myself from the beginning, and all expectations crashed.

For forgiveness to take place, I think we just have to live by the rule of evaluation, where we try to see things for ourselves rather than believing mere rumors. Where we do not find ourselves entitled to another person's life choices because we all were bred from the same species.

Chidimma Writes 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

LOVE TALES WITH CHIDIMMA WRITES ✍️

IF WE EVER GET MARRIED… A decade and six years ago, I had this imaginary person I loved so deeply. Someone I had found, yet never seen a solace after long, sometimes dramatic days. Someone to chitchat with in the quiet corners of my mind. I described him like characters in movies; Hollywood mostly. If he was the handsome hero, then he became my imaginary portrait. As time passed, I would wrap myself up in a double sofa, close my eyes, and imagine he was right there beside me. Sometimes I wondered if I was abnormal… or maybe every girl had this feeling and just never spoke about it. I did not know, or perhaps, I did not know how to know. Funny, “know how to know.” I was so attached to him that when my teenage hormones began to bloom, reality tapped me on the shoulder. I realized I needed to be realistic. He wasn’t real. So I took it upon myself to look for him. How toxic. In my dreams, he was more Asian. In my mind, he was the loveliest doctor– a surgeon. In reality, I wavered for a coo...
4 comments
Read more

OUR CULTURE, OUR LIFESTYLE

  OUR CULTURE, OUR WAY OF LIFE By Chidimma Placid Nwaka  INTRODUCTION Culture is defined by the attributes that make it honored and respected from one generation to another. It is the way of life of a people in a geographical setting. Culture is a beautiful reflection that tells about a tribe, region, city, village, town, territory, or nation. It provides details of what is held important and how people live their lives, whether simple or sophisticated, bothered or unbothered. In this article, the different cultures of different people will be explored, and their uniqueness identified. CULTURE AND ITS IMPORTANCE Culture is an attractive blend of different arts that adds color to a specific group of people. It is not only based on a tribe or country; workplaces, schools, and institutions have their own cultures that present value and appreciation. In a quick one, culture is everywhere, irrespective of class or size. Even families have their own culture that everyone holds with ...
Post a Comment
Read more

MOVIE CRITIC: THE HERD

MOVIE CRITIC: THE HERD Just Like Every Other One, It Reminds Us of the Poison People believe history shapes our lifestyle, and while the stories get interesting, the movies created from them make the connections more visible. The Herd is a historical movie; not too old, just about six years from the real events that inspired its visuals. It is a film that does not intend to hurt any religion or portray any tribe in Nigeria negatively. Effiong Daniel, an inspiring actor, delivered a project that could easily be misunderstood as controversial, especially because it was released during a chaotic and sensitive period in the country. Many critics from Northern Nigeria claimed the movie undermines the region, but the truth is that it delivers factual information in visual form. Bandit attacks, killings, the selling of human body parts, and other dark realities were portrayed, not to demonize anyone, but to reflect what victims actually go through. Just like To Kill a Monkey, The Herd uses st...
Post a Comment
Read more