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THE STRUGGLES..

 THE FEAR OF STEPPING OUT

By Chidimma Placid Nwaka

Fear has always been one of man’s greatest cages, regardless of his ego or humility. According to Sigmund Freud, fear is described as a response to a known and definite external danger. He distinguished fear from anxiety, explaining that fear has a specific object, while anxiety may not.

Fear respects no one. Like a virus, it spreads and, when left unchecked, can grow into trauma. Everyone has something or someone they are afraid of. This fear may arise from both internal and external factors. Internal factors stem from how we are treated or perceived at home, while external factors relate to how the world treats and judges us.

The fear of stepping out is often the inability to adapt to change. Change comes through different stages of life, and these stages can be uncomfortable. Sometimes, stepping out may strain relationships or detach us from people we once held dearly. It may change how we speak, think, or feel about others. Some people act nonchalant or shrink themselves to fit into other people’s lives, all because of the fear of stepping out.

Man has two masters to choose from in life: he either becomes a servant or a slave. When we allow fear to decide our fate, we become slaves to its whims. But when we choose to stand up for ourselves, we become servants of goodwill and growth.

I have often thought about speaking up when I am hurt, yet the fear of hurting others with my words silences me. I sometimes care more about the feelings of others than my own, and I call it selflessness, though sometimes, it may simply be fear disguised as kindness.

A psychologist once said, “The quiet child is the dangerous one.” Many people have gone from being chatty to silent, and this silence is often shaped by how they were treated. Some remain talkative just to hide their emotions, but deep inside, they are battling struggles unseen by others.

The fear of stepping out is one of the most common forms of fear many people suffer from. Some individuals tolerate hurt for a long time and are overly careful in relationships. But the moment they become fed up and finally speak out, they carry guilt; not because they were wrong, but because the other person may not understand their perspective.

Although stepping out can be difficult, it is necessary. A person must learn to speak their mind when they are hurt. Sometimes, you do not have to please that friend or remain stuck in silent pain and frustration. Change waits for no one.

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