IF WE EVER GET MARRIED…
A decade and six years ago, I had this imaginary person I loved so deeply. Someone I had found, yet never seen a solace after long, sometimes dramatic days. Someone to chitchat with in the quiet corners of my mind.
I described him like characters in movies; Hollywood mostly. If he was the handsome hero, then he became my imaginary portrait.
As time passed, I would wrap myself up in a double sofa, close my eyes, and imagine he was right there beside me. Sometimes I wondered if I was abnormal… or maybe every girl had this feeling and just never spoke about it. I did not know, or perhaps, I did not know how to know.
Funny, “know how to know.”
I was so attached to him that when my teenage hormones began to bloom, reality tapped me on the shoulder. I realized I needed to be realistic.
He wasn’t real.
So I took it upon myself to look for him.
How toxic.
In my dreams, he was more Asian. In my mind, he was the loveliest doctor– a surgeon. In reality, I wavered for a cool guy older than me, but not more than a decade older.
I imagined our first meeting:
Maybe at a wine lobby.
Or at a Christian conference in Paris.
Or perhaps at a cozy reception in a quiet coffee shop.
Somehow, I gave up temporarily. But I never stopped talking to him in my thoughts, telling him about the different guys I met and how they made me feel insecure about my appearance.
After much mischief from unmannered boys, as I can best describe them.....I went back to loving him.
Though we had never met.
Slowly, things stopped working as planned. And every new year began to feel like preparation for “The New Guy.”
Then it happened.
I could call it love at first sight, a promising story for another day. It felt like we had known each other before… maybe in a past life, if such things exist.
At the Plaza, his eyes slit through my nerves into a whim, and I felt my heart leap to my chest. His deep voice, heavenly. His breath; steady.
“Oh my… don’t tell me he is the one,” I thought.
No way.
Or maybe…
And without hesitation, I said yes. Because I felt relieved. Secure. Calm.
Even miles away from me, he somehow feels just a step close every day.
If we ever get married, I think he might be a dappy-daddy! of course, if he isn’t playing sheep in wolf’s clothing.
Not abnormal.
Love can twist you away from normality.
— Chidimma Writes
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